Self Care for the Overwhelmed: Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Several years ago, the latest rage was the push for mindfulness in schools. In my experience, we weren't given formal training, but we were encouraged to use it in our classes. We were told it was good for us and our students, but we (educators) didn't fully understand what it was or how to do it.
I'm open to trying new things and was curious about these practices, but my initial experiences were not fantastic. I quickly became less than enthusiastic. I tried again here and there and always felt like a failure because I could not stop my racing thoughts. It was discouraging. I felt that I must be weak because I couldn't "empty" my mind and focus.
The more I tried, the more my thoughts would race from one thing to the next. I reached the point where I could acknowledge that it's suitable for some people, just not me.
I spent years talking about the value of practicing mindfulness while not fully buying into it myself. It wasn't until I attended my first week-long immersion in the Wholebeing Positive Psychology program at the Wholebeing Institute in Stockbridge, MA, that I had a significant shift in thinking. I was listening to Dr. Joan Borysenko talk about the topic, and it was as though I was hearing all these benefits for the first time.
Benefits include decreased stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms, better self-regulation and emotional regulation, improved patience, increased curiosity, increased levels of attention, and improved cognitive functioning. The practice of meditation and mindfulness is also associated with neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to adapt and change over time.
We can change the brain for the better when we practice meditation. Can you believe that? It does take time and practice, but we can improve our brain function. I found this fascinating.
Finally, the lightbulb went on. I realized that it is worth my time and effort to make this a habit, like brushing my teeth, showering, and exercising.
Here's the other light bulb moment from that visit to the Wholebeing Institute. You do not have to be "good at it" to enjoy the benefits. Nobody is really good at it. Many people who try meditation and mindfulness practices put enormous pressure on themselves to completely clear their minds and immediately transform into a state of perfect peace and focused attention.
This unrealistic expectation leads to discouragement, and people don't stick with it. In an interview with Dr. Sanjay Gupta, even the Dalai Lama said meditating was hard after 60 years of practice! Maybe if we showed ourselves a little self-compassion and practiced without any expectations, we could enjoy the benefits of meditation.
There are similarities and overlaps between mindfulness and meditation, but also differences.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., describes mindfulness as the awareness that arises through paying attention on purpose in the present moment, nonjudgmentally. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, such as mindful walking, mindful eating, mindful movement, or simple breath awareness.
Meditation usually refers to a formal practice. There are many techniques, but they all include a conscious attempt to focus attention without analyzing and without dwelling on ruminating thoughts. Sometimes, there is a focus on a word, a sound, an object, a sensation, or a mantra. There are MANY different forms of meditation to explore.
Mindfulness is a form of meditation. Mindfulness can be done anywhere, at any time, and it can be practiced formally or informally. Both are to be practiced without judgment.
I invite you to adopt a Growth Mindset. Be open and curious. Ask yourself if it would be worth the effort if you could experience some or all of the benefits.
So many people try mindfulness and quit because they feel they are doing it wrong. They give up. As a reminder, there is no wrong way to do it. Be kind, gentle, and patient with yourself. Here is a guided Mindfulness Meditation. Take a few minutes for yourself and enjoy the experience. When your mind wanders, and you notice it, say, "Oh well," and return your focus to the practice. Celebrate the fact that you were aware of your drifting thoughts. That's Mindfulness.
You can add mindfulness to your day by stopping and noticing. Try to sneak noticing into your routine.
What does the water feel like on your skin in the shower?
How does the toothpaste taste and feel in your mouth?
What do the fresh sheets feel like when you get into bed?
How does that home-cooked meal smell?
What are the sounds of your house or your family?
What does the wind feel like on your skin or the sun on your face?
Notice the sensations of giving and receiving a hug.
Just stop, breathe, and notice. Savor the moment of being fully alive and aware. When you do, you are practicing mindfulness.
Wishing you an abundant life,
Karen
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