What is Happiness?
What is Happiness?
Let's start with what happiness is NOT.
Happiness is not about feeling good ALL of the time. It is not about living a fantastical life where nothing ever goes wrong.
Think about your best moments. Do you feel happy in those moments? Of course, you do, but it's unlikely that you always feel that intensely incredible. Trying to pursue that constant euphoric feeling can derail your happiness. It seems evident to me now, but it wasn't so obvious when I first started studying Positive Psychology.
One of the first and most important lessons that I learned was that happiness is much more than those precious moments when we experience joy. I often felt that I was missing something because I didn't feel that joyful all the time. It was a relief to learn that true happiness is much more than chasing down that high.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.
In her book, The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky describes happiness as "the experience of joy, contentment or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one's life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile." Dr. Lyubomirsky talks about happiness having two components. The first component involves the experience of positive emotions such as joy, contentment, interest, affection, and love. Happier people have more positive emotions and experience fewer negative emotions. But simply experiencing positive emotions is not enough. You can experience a lot of happy emotions and still not be a happy person. This is why the second component is just as important. Happiness is also having a sense of satisfaction with your life and feeling content with how you are progressing towards your goals in life.
Dr. Martin Seligman, considered the father of Positive Psychology, concluded that happiness has three dimensions that can be cultivated: the Pleasant Life, the Good Life, and the Meaningful Life.
Dr. Seligman created the PERMA Model, which provides us with the elements needed for lasting well-being.
The PERMA model:
Positive Emotions - feeling good, positive emotions, optimism, pleasure, and enjoyment.
Engagement - fulfilling work, interesting hobbies, "flow"
Relationships - social connections, love, intimacy, emotional and physical interaction.
Meaning - having a purpose, finding meaning in life.
Accomplishments - ambition, realistic goals, important achievements, pride in yourself.
When we look at the PERMA model, we can think of happiness as a combination of these elements. Seeking out positive emotions and cultivating optimism. Finding work and passions that balance challenge and interest so we are fully engaged and can feel the state of "flow." Developing strong social connections and loving relationships with yourself and others. Living a meaningful and purposeful life aligned with your values, setting realistic goals and pursuing them, and feeling a sense of pride for your achievements.
My favorite model is from Wholebeing Positive Psychology. The SPIRE Model of whole-being happiness was developed by Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, Dr. Maria Sirois, and Megan McDonough. According to Dr. Ben Shahar, you need to look at the whole person to reach happiness. They created SPIRE to address the different components of the whole person. They identified those five components as Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional.
Spiritual - Leading a meaningful life and mindfully savoring the present
Physical - Caring for the body and tapping into the mind/body connection
Intellectual - Engaging in deep learning and opening to experience
Relational - Nurturing a constructive relationship with self and others
Emotional - Feeling all emotions. Reaching towards resilience and optimism
All of these components are critical for a happy life. When we ignore one component, the whole being is affected. When one component is cultivated, the whole being benefits because these five elements are intimately related. The SPIRE model gives us paths and action steps that we can take to improve our overall well-being and happiness.
Do you see some consistent themes in these definitions of happiness? I do. I like to look at happiness like colors in a rainbow. (thanks to Tal for that visual) All the colors are equally crucial to the rainbow's exquisite beauty. If you took one away, it just wouldn't be the same. Happiness is a combination of all the elements that make us human beings. Happiness is being present in the moment and living a purposeful life. It is caring for and enjoying this incredible human body, understanding that the mind and body are interconnected. It is tapping into our innate curiosity and embracing a lifelong learning journey. Happiness is cultivating healthy relationships, starting with ourselves, and connecting with others intimately. Happiness is genuinely feeling all emotions while recognizing that they are temporary. We experience and acknowledge the entire range of emotions and move towards grounded optimism.
Happiness is much more complex than a single event. It is a journey with many different pathways. Enjoy the ride, my friends.
Wishing you an abundant life,
Karen
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